school happiness study

there is a new book out in france which is causing waves. “on acheve bien les ecoliers” is by peter gumbel, a british professor at the very prestigious french “grand ecole” science polytechnique (referred to as “science po”). he noticed that his students had a lack of self confidence, even though they were brilliant and the best in the country. he was happy that his own kids would go through the french school system, which has a reputation for turning out a highly educated population. however, as his kids progressed, he was amazed at the stress they seemed be under and that they had regular head-aches and stomach aches because of it. he was shocked at the ambiance in the schools that could be summed up by a phrase that the teachers often used to the children “t’es null”. translated literally as “you are zero” it means “you are useless”. he then did research on various studies done on school systems around the developed world. i was excited that he would be giving a talk at our school. it was a very interesting lecture and i laughed to find out that in fact, he is a dad at our school, so the experience his children were having with stress in the french educational system is in OUR school! he spoke very diplomatically about his book and his kids’ experience, since there were school faculty present in the lecture. i am seeing more and more people who are critical of the school, yet respectful of its high reputation, and appreciative of its strengths. his criticism is more towards the government run ministry of education, the school culture and the grading system.
more background:
our school is considered one of the best in france and very ambitious parents kill to have their kids in it. apparently there are a number of type-A parents, though i haven’t met them yet. i am still a bit isolated with the expat parents. jj had an easier time getting in than any french kid, because the adaptation program is considered a center piece of the school and they need international kids, especially english speaking ones. the kids do have to prove themselves as good students, but it certainly is the easiest way to get in. the rest of the school population is divided into 1/3 english speaking families, 1/3 french speaking families and 1/3 other language families. with so many more applications from locals, this makes the chances for a french kid to get in, very, very tough.
there was another school crisis that did not involve jj. there are 2 french language classes for the adaptation kids. we were told that one was more advanced than the other, but with the backgrounds of the mix of kids that doesn’t seem true. both classes seem to have total beginners along with kids who have a french parent and speak quite well. there have been several shocking stories about the teacher in the “advanced” class. one child was asked in class what she liked to do, and answered “i like to eat” (even though she doesn’t really) and the teacher retorted “that’s why you’re so fat!”. of course, this child is actually very thin and i think it was probably meant as a joke, but these days one shouldn’t comment on a girl’s weight like that.
in addition, this teacher made some other comments which were a bit racist towards the asians in the class. i think she may have thought she was being funny, and her humor may have been acceptable in france 50 years ago. however, this is an international school with kids from all over the world, a school whose mission is to "develop international understanding through bilingual education starting in the nursery years". i was puzzled. to me, the teacher is the school. i assumed that the school, knew these teachers and their style and condoned them. however, many parents complained to the parent group who met with the principal, and this particular teacher was corrected.


back to the lecture:
chatting to some parents and listening to the lecture itself this evening revealed some important clues to me, on my search to understand the secrets of this strange, intense school culture and how the teachers could be the way they are.


1) it turns out that teachers are NOT employees of the school, but of the “ministry of education”. they answer to the government and that is who is their boss. the teacher is assigned to the school and the school cannot fire the teacher; they can only complain to the ministry and in extreme cases, request that a teacher to be transferred.
2) the teachers primary job objective is NOT the education of the children, but rather to follow the program set out by the ministry – which is a day to day schedule of the curriculum. on any given day, they should be teaching specifically what is scheduled for that day. the ministry sends out inspectors to sit in the classrooms and a teacher will get in big trouble for not teaching the scheduled lesson. this perhaps insures a certain measurable standard for the curriculum but does not guarantee that the children will learn anything.
3) lack of pedagogical training – apparently there was an official training program for teachers at one time, but the old version was thrown out for the new version which was very unsuccessful, and so that was thrown out too. apparently, nothing has replaced that. the previous training insured that the teachers were competent in their subject but not necessarily in teaching. many had no actual class experience before being put in the classroom. this is similar to graduate students teaching college classes – with no teaching experience. so, at this time, there is no pedagogical training at all.


through the lecture, one could almost feel the collective of parents breathing a sigh of relief that someone had publicly said what they were thinking all along, and then actually support it with data. though, there were a few questionable charts and statements and one can always doubt the manipulation of data for desired conclusions.
one mom, who has been very successful in creating the parent organization which works closely with the school (which in itself is unheard of, in the normal french school system)– suggested that we raise money to buy a copy of his book for each teacher in the school and have mr. gumbel give a similar talk to all of them. (there were very few teachers present). the woman who seems to be the public face of the school spoke of her frustrated attempts over the years to help reform the national school system and her efforts to move this particular school forward towards enlightenment. the fact that this book has made such waves and caused discussions is a good sign that perhaps france is ready for things to start changing.
at the end of the evening, there was a feeling of hope for the future.

hosted conversation group

had our second conversation group and i hosted it in our apartment. i was a little worried about having 16 people over, but luckily it was only 10 people and there was plenty of space and enough chairs. the session started off well, in french but then as we went into english, it deteriorated. we started discussing slang terms, with my contribution being the usage of “dude” with which the non-americans were not familiar. then things fell further as the british explained to the rest the usage and etymology of some less than polite british terms. we laughed a lot!

tangled at disneyland

our good friend roy, is a producer at disney. he and his wife, mary are jj’s “dog-parents”.  (sort of like god-parents, but in a dyslexic way). we had just been talking about him, thinking that he should be on tour soon, with his new film. in fact, the next day, we got an email from him telling us he would be in town for the pr tour. you will probably have seen the ads for “tangled”, a new version of rapunzel. we all got invited to a special preview screening and were able to bring a friend of jj’s too. the film was beautiful and fun and we’re hoping he has a big hit on his hands. there are some great characters and the computer graphics were very subtly done so, in fact it very much felt like the old disney films. rapunzel’s hair was beautifully done. i loved admiring it throughout the film. the art director, dave, is also a friend of mine from ireland days, and he did a wonderful job. the film is rich and beautiful. dave is also an extremely talented painter.
afterwards, we were able to enter disneyland paris for the day. i was only able to stay a couple of hours, since i had to get back but the day was a bit cold and rainy anyway. the entry of disneyland already had its christmas decorations, and we were amazed that it appeared to be snowing. in fact, it was a well done disney illusion, created with tight clumps of soap bubbles. it was great that we could bring a friend for jj, since it made it much more fun for her.

basquiat show

jj doesn’t go back to school until tomorrow, so i felt we should have a date and do something in paris. it’s too easy for her to hang out at home, so i need to take the initiative. she was a bit outraged that her art teacher had “required” them all to go to an art exhibit over the vacation, but i thought it was a good idea. the teacher had recommended a number of contemporary art shows. the palais de tokyo is one art museum and occupies one half of a big building sitting on the seine. the other half of the building is occupied with the museum of modern art. we had tried to go earlier in the vacation, but there were waiting lines for both, so we had given up. today, we went back and there was a longer line for the basquiat show, but it didn’t look too bad, and i felt we had to do it this time. in fact, there was a lady trying to sell her ticket, so i bought it. since jj is under 25, she would get in for free. so we got to skip the rest of the line.

when basquiat was a hot item in new york, in the 80’s, i had not paid too much attention. he was new on the scene and there was a lot of hype about him. i sort of wrote him off as a gimmick.  now, looking at his paintings, i have to say that i like them. isn't that what happens with famous painters and their work?  with all the exposure, you get used to them, and eventually accept them.  strangely, some of my own paintings (in the “collaboration” series), have a similar feeling – though not as rebellious. it's the “child-like” look. i don’t LOVE his stuff, but i am entertained by it. there were paintings jj liked too. she had to pick 2 of them to write about for school.

october break travelog

thursday:
jj has vacation and p has been at work for 3 weeks so we decided it was time for a vacation, so we’re off on a road trip.
dropped off maynard, with a doggy-sitter, got rental car. picked up p from work (got fairly lost), battled paris rush hour traffic and headed to blois in the loire valley which is chateau country.
blois is a lovely town, 2 hours south of paris, with very old tudor timbered buildings. it had some christmas decorations already up and was quite beautiful. there is a big castle on the hill in town and old roads lined with stone walls.

friday:
we wandered a little in blois in the morning. jj saw an old timbered building with an apartment for rent and she was very excited. she said she wanted to live here. we headed out to the chateau at chambord. one of the more famous chateaus, it was inspired by renaissance italy. it is the largest chateau in the loire valley and king francois I built it as a hunting lodge. he only stayed there a total of 7 weeks and died before it was finished. there was a film about the chateau, complete with computer animation, which very clearly explained the unique design of the chateau. the best part was the double spiral central staircase which were 2 separate intertwining stairways that never intersect. also, the 4 rooms around the staircase were layed out assymetrically like the blades of an old fashioned windmill.

we then drove past limoges to “st leonard de noblat”, a town that had been recommended to us for its porcelain factory. since limoges didn’t seem to have any b&b’s, i booked one in this old walled town.
we went to dinner in town which was totally dead. it was an interesting old town, but apparently everybody had left on the long weekend. we ate dinner in a restaurant that stayed empty except for us and a single older lady. the b&b was also empty, except for us. it was across from an old water mill but was on the main road and a bit scary with its crooked floors, stinky bathroom, and sound of mice scrambling in the walls. jj was a bit nervous at the emptiness of the town.

saturday:
before leaving town, we went to the porcelain factory. i am not excited about limoges porcelain, but the factory had some nice modern stuff at a reasonable price. we didn’t buy anything since it wasn’t nice enough for us to think of carrying it around with us and shipping it back to the u.s.
next, we went to the town, “collonges la rouge”, which was a funky, spooky town with red stone buildings. we had to park on the outskirts of town, since the tiny roads were mostly pedestrian. there seemed to be lots of “witch” themed things, like a witch cafe and a witch souvenir shop which was appropriate since it was halloween. it was fairly quiet, with just a few tourists walking around. i think during tourist season, it would be unbearably crowded.

we then headed for the dordogne region. we had booked a b&b in a spot central to some of the spots we wanted to visit. it was a very nicely kept b&b owned by an english couple. they were very nice and hospitable and it was interesting chatting with them. they retired fairly young and decided to buy this b&b. they loved the area, but it seems the small town mayor hated english people, wasn’t very pleasant and made life a bit difficult. i think the woman was trying to figure out if she actually liked this french life...

that night we had dinner in a local restaurant, which was highly recommended by our hosts.
the dordogne is famous for food and more specifically duck and fois gras. The menu basically had duck,duck,goose (liver)and then more duck. Duck with fois gras, duck stuffed with fois gras, duck rolled in fois gras and then luckily for p, there was fish. the most exciting thing was the my appetizer. It was a salad with gesiers (gizzards), smoked magret (duck breast) and fois gras (of course). It had a little bit of lettuce and then a tomato stuffed with cabecou ice cream. cabecou is a local and famous goat cheese. You heard right - ice cream made of goat cheese. And it was AMAZING! Even jj liked it. I then had pintade (guinea hen) stuffed with (what else...)fois gras and a for dessert a bavardois (custardy dessert) of warm red fruits. Jj had the 7 hour cooked lamb and a meringue with cherries and homemade ice cream. P had a cheese course which in fact was cabecou wrapped in "brick" (thin filo like pastry) and fried. We had a bergerac wine that was quite good.

sunday:
we went to visit the “gouffre de padirac”. this is a long deep limestone cave, carved out by an underground stream. water seeping in deposited calcium to create a variety of crazy shaped structures, like underwater sea creature shapes . it was much more interesting than i thought it would be.
then we went to visit the town of rocamadour – which is a town built on a very, very steep cliff. quite impressive. also a bit touristy, with the main street full of touristy shops, but luckily, because we were in late october, not too crowded. we took a detour looking for a pharmacy that was open, trying to find some aspirin, but failed. we then went to the town of domme, which sits high above the dordogne river valley, which is famous for its stunning views. unfortunately it was dark and we couldn’t see anything. we were hoping to find dinner, thinking that a tourist town would have restaurants open, but the town was quite dead. so instead we went back to a spot on the main road which seemed to have a number of hotels and restaurants. we had a decent meal at a good price, in a hotel which looked like it had the same staff for the last 50 years. it seemed to have clients who had been there that long as well.

monday:
we decided to visit a few towns today and then head back to paris. we started by going back to domme to see the view in the light. domme was still quiet and we didn’t take the time to linger there. we went on to the town called le roc gagnac. this is another town built onto a cliff. it sat right on the main road, across from the river, but as you climbed up the narrow paths, you would find beautiful little stone houses built into the cliff. it seemed to be protected from the wind with the cliff, and had almost a tropical feel, with palm trees and vines clinging to the walls. it was a very small town, but lovely.
then we moved on to beynat, a larger medieval town built on a hill, with a castle on the top. also lovely stone houses and windy roads coming down to the river. we stopped to have lunch at a cafe. then we went to sarlat, which was totally different. it is a medieval city with large stone buildings and walls. it was much larger than the other towns and felt a bit livelier. these towns must be quite unbearable in the summer when they are packed with tourists. we had to skip seeing the last town in the group, , castelnaud-la-chapelle. we’ll have to save that for our next trip. we had to move quickly, since we had one more stop, which was the cave at lascaux. the original cave covered with prehistoric paintings on the walls was discovered by 4 teenage boys in the 1920’s. it was a huge discovery and people started visiting in droves. then the paintings started decaying with all the moisture the throngs of people were bringing in with them and the caves were closed to the public. they then spent 11 years making an exact reproduction of the cave and the paintings. it sounds weird to visit a replica, but, in addition to seeing prehistoric paintings is the allure is to see if looks like a real cave (though of course, one can’t say whether it looks exactly like the original). also, wonderful is to imagine being a teenager making such an important archeological discovery.

we headed home and were back in paris in 6 hours. jj had been a little spooked at being in some of these totally deserted towns and felt great relief to see the living beings out on the street in paris.

pastry class

there is a kitchen store around the corner from us called “coin cuisine” (kitchen corner) which has upscale kitchenwares as well as a working kitchen in the back where they teach classes. in the summer we thought jj would need 6 months before she was up to speed with her french to be able to take a class. funny that in fact, we find now that her problem is not getting enough french because all her friends speak english. so we decided that taking a class in french would be good practice. it’s october school break for a week and a half and i signed us both up for a class for kids and adults in sweet pastries.

there were 5 other kids and one woman. the teacher started out telling us how with normal cooking you could be loose about quantities, but with pastry making it had to be precise. we would start with making batter for “choux” (empty cream puffs with sugar sprinkled on top), “religieux” (one chocolate pastry cream stuffed puff stacked on a vanilla filled puff topped with sugar glaze) and “eclairs” elongated cream puffs filled with vanilla pastry cream, topped with chocolate sauce. he told the kids to measure out water and milk on a scale – the french do much of their cooking by weight rather than volume. he told one boy to measure out 25 cl of water into a container on the scale. first you put the container on the scale and then zero it out. then the boy poured enough water into the container to get a 25 on the digital read out but it was a minuscule amount. there was a long tirade from the teacher that i couldn’t totally understand – something about you wouldn’t be happy if that’s the amount of coca cola you got in a bottle. then he started quizzing him about how many centiliters were in a liter and how much did water weigh... jj was terrified he’d ask her to do something too. turns out the scale measured “grams” and we had to know the relationship of water weight to volume. 1 liter water is 1 kilogram (1000 grams) of weight. so 25 cl would be 250 grams (not 25). so we measured out milk and water and butter and went to boil them. then we measured out flour and sugar. then having said earlier that everything had to be measured precisely, he pours salt from the container into the bowls. i asked how much salt he was putting in. he answered me that precisely 1 pinch, and continues on to define 1 pinch. it is the “precise” amount of salt you can grab with 2 fingers and your thumb. hmmm. that doesn’t sound too precise to me. everybody has different size hands... then after stirring and stirring the eggs into the batter, he stirs the batter and says it needs another egg yolk. so – again it comes to something vague. though, the recipe did say 3-4 eggs and after stirring, add another egg yolk and some white if needed. (little trick to baking puffs – when they are done, open the oven door and keep cooking for 15 mins. this will allow the humidity to escape the oven and dry out the puffs so they will stay firm)

 after the puffs, we were making batter for “financiers” which are little cakes similar to madeleines but with ground almonds in them. “financier” means banker and they are in the shape of gold bullion bars. these are one of my favorite pastries. they have a wonderful slight chewiness. you have to put all the dried ingredients in, then stir in a PRECISE amount of egg whites. so you have to weigh them. he was showing us the trick of how to pour egg whites and stop the flow. you put your index finger over the pouring spout and “cut it like a guillotine”. i laughed and repeated “guillotine” because i assumed it was a joke. but he looked at me and said seriously, “you have to do it that way, to cut the flow of egg whites and get a precise amount”. (otherwise the egg whites, with their gooeyness, will drag more out with them). i whispered to jj that the guillotine was so much part of french history, that it had become part of the language. he didn’t see anything funny about using the term. meanwhile, i was getting a slight glimpse into how teachers speak to students. he was quite abrupt, yelling at them when they didn’t do things right. “i showed you how to do this already, hold it like this, do this and flick it this way”.

 then we made “tartes fines aux pommes” and “palmiers”. he rolled out store bought flaky pastry, cut 6” rounds and put them on a baking sheet. then we got to use the really cool apple peeler/corer/slicer which looks similar to an old fashioned pencil sharpener. the apple is lanced onto the rotating cylinder and the handle is turned, which moves the apple towards the coring cylinder and peeling /slicing blades. the kids loved that. arrange apple slices fanned out on each pastry circle, painted with egg, sprinkled with sugar and put a couple of pats of butter on top. they turned out very light and delicious. take leftover pastry, layer them together (not smushing them – keeping them layered) and roll them out into rectangle. then brush on egg and sprinkle sugar and fold sides toward center twice. then slice crosswise to get little double spirals, and lay out on baking pan. when everything was baked they were placed on platters – big piles of pastries – and laid on the table. everyone sat down around them and then (6:00 – just before dinner time) everyone piled into them eating whatever they wanted. we each got a bag to take as many as we wanted home. it was like kid heaven! plus the adults got to have a glass of kirsch – a very sweet cherry liqueur, while the other parents waited on the sidelines and watched.
we signed up immediately for the macaroon class.

strikes

you may have been hearing about the strikes in france. many have checked in on us to make sure we are not suffering. actually, i live in my little ex-pat bubble. since i don’t have a car, the gas shortage doesn’t affect me, and there doesn’t seem to be a food shortage. i’ve learned over the years that strikes are a seasonal happening in france – every fall they happen. however, this one was a big one, and all the news coverage says “not since 1995 has there been as big a strike”. the one in 1995 was protesting the same issue – trying to raise the retirement age. we were here then too. i was pregnant with jj. i wonder if the bad strikes have something to do with jj being in paris? i remember trying to get across town without public transport with terrible traffic jams. they have since instituted laws against total shutdown of public transport, so things do not get that bad. the general understanding here is that people know that things need change, but they just don’t like sarkozy and his methods. the strikes are more a statement against him. i was telling someone that maynard was a bit scared of the little dogs and she said “yes, the little ones are much more vicious. like sarkozy and napolean!” we laughed.

"tasha, the cat" painting

"tasha, the cat" painting took me a very long time. 2 weeks. i have realized (again) that am being too constrained with photos as reference for paintings. too easy to get pulled into the details. need to loosen up and focus more on brushstrokes and rogue colors. need to work faster and from life. will go get some eggplants and red peppers and do still life had planned to do in august. in the past, i have done paintings “en pleine aire” – sitting on the side of a landscape and finishing it in 3 hours. need to go back to the freshness of that.

"le cantine du troquet" restaurant

i had been wanting to try the restaurant called “le cantine du troquet”, since august, when my friend monique came through town and told me about it. weeks went by. finally, we planned to go tonight as a family. the restaurant is in the 14th arrondissement, opens at 7 and doesn’t take reservations. it’s a hot new place, but since the french don’t eat dinner before 8, the plan was to get there at 7:30.
jj came home and said she wanted to go meet her friends for dinner before they all went off on october holiday. ok, that would allow p and i to have a date. so jj went across town on the metro with a friend. (note another step of independance). meanwhile, p was incommunicado – i just could not get through to him. so instead of sitting at home waiting, at 7:15 i headed to the restaurant hoping that he would call me. it was a strange feeling heading to a place not knowing if i would hear from him. felt like long ago days of being on my own. happily everything worked out and p called as i was getting off the bus. he took a tram and then a velib bike to meet me there.
it was a charming, hip, “down home” style restaurant where many tables are big communal ones. it is the 2nd restaurant of the chef Christian Etchebest who owns “le troquet”, a fancier restaurant in the 15th arr.
the menu was written on a big blackboard and was very reasonable. it is billed as a “basque” restaurant, but i’m not sure what that means exactly. it felt very traditional – with kidneys and head of veal, on the menu. i decided to be adventurous and try something old to the world, but new to me. i had the pigs ears for appetizer. they were sliced into shreds, deep fried and served on lettuce. it was sort of like very chewy, slivered bacon. tasty, but the sort of deep fried thing i have been trying to avoid eating in my new low fat stage. that said, for main course, i had lamb. it was tender and tasty, with a nice sauce on it, but just that – a slab of meat on a plate. though a bowl of homemade fries did appear too. p had morille mushrooms with eggs and then a fish called “lieu” (pollack). we walked back along the next road over, which had food shops and restaurants all along. it felt very old fashioned unlike our road with all the new chain clothing stores. we really liked the feeling. meanwhile, jj made her way home with her friend, again on the metro. she got off one stop after her friend and walked home and let herself in. we arrived home just a few minutes after she did.

painting & pot luck

i have been working on a painting of a friend’s dear departed cat. it is a from a beautiful photo, but i’m finding it very difficult. the first problem i had was that i bought a new tube of white acrylic and was frustrated with it’s lack of opacity. after working with it for several days, i was complaining to a friend about it, and then realized that i should check the label to make sure i had the right thing. sure enough, i did not – it was a translucent white for mixing into colors. but on top of that problem, the photo was very low resolution and i couldn’t see the details of the cat itself.

the parents of jj’s grade got together for a pot luck dinner. it was very enjoyable to get to know people more. they were, of course, an international bunch. the hosts were french/american couple from new orleans, here for a year. there were 3 korean moms, an english couple, a korean american mom, an english/french couple and others. the food was excellent as well. (my favorite was the pork baked with prunes and also the korean noodles).  i was having such a nice time, i didn’t want to leave, but had left jj on her own, so felt i should get back.

belleville tour

went on a mom-organized guided tour of the belleville area of paris. our tour guide spoke only in french (good practice for me). belleville started out as a separate town in the countryside, and of course was eventually swallowed up by paris. it has had a history of different immigrant groups- eastern european, jewish, north african and finally chinese. after the chinese, came the artists, though, it’s still a sort of chinatown. some parts still feel very much like a small village. it is up on a hill, so had wonderful views of paris.
afterwards, we went out for chinese food. it was ok, but not fab.

school adaptation

we had been told by the other parents that there would be tears in the first part of the year as the kids adapted to “adaptation”. jj had been weathering fairly well, though she wasn't fond of the ambiance in the school. today, the teacher was collecting a homework assignment that jj had missed hearing about. she was terrified of the yelling that she was sure she would receive for not having it. however, the teacher kindly told her to bring it in the next day. jj said the teacher must have been in a good mood. she was relieved but that evening the pent up fear came out in tears. she was very upset in general with the approach of the teachers. she railed again about the boy who was wrongly punished. she said “you can’t even smile. they don’t want you to be happy”

conversation group

the mom group at the school has organized conversation groups. this is a language exchange gathering between french and english speakers with 1 hour of french conversation and then 1 hour of english. there are actually 6 french/english groups and one spanish/french group. my group meets on tuesday morning and this was our first session. we met in a cafe where it was a bit noisy and difficult to hear. we were a group of 16 or so and mostly english speakers. there were only 3 native french speakers.  it was a nice way to meet some more people and i look forward to our next meetings.

school meeting / doggy passport

went to school meeting. got to see who the principal was (the woman with whom jj had had the crisis) and various other teachers. the principal was a very proper french lady. the english teacher seemed to speak french fluently, but had the most amazing twangy american accent. i really enjoyed listening to her. it was entertaining.

later, i brought maynard to the vet to get his doggy passport, for traveling in europe.  plus he had to have a rabies test to get into england.  then, six months after the negative test results (ie. he DOESN'T have rabies), he is allowed in.  this is the second time we have done this.  we had had it done back in march '09, in boston, but the clinic messed up with some typos on his microchip number and it was invalidated.  we found this out only in july when we were coming over.  so now, he will be allowed into england in april.

brunch

we finally got the 2 maries, marie d and marie m, to come over for brunch. there had been many back and forths and falling through of dates, but finally they made it over. i made quiche provencale (store bought crust, layer of swiss cheese, sauteed chopped zucchini, egg mix (3 eggs, 1.5 cups milk, salt), topped with tomato slices and sprinkled with herbs de provence) accompanied by smoked salmon and bayonne ham (sort of like prosciutto) and an avocado endive salad. we hadn’t seen marie m. since july when she went on her adventure in uzbekistan and we had gone south. she was very adventurous going off there on her own, with her backpack and head scarf. she’s not your typical ceo... it was also great to see marie d. who is also so helpful to us in organizing our life in france. we told them about jj’s plight at school and our views on the french school culture so far. interestingly, they said that it was the culture specifically at OUR school. they said that in france the current problem in the schools is opposite to our problem it’s too LITTLE discipline.

crepes

jj had a good late teenager saturday morning. i was bugging her to get up and have breakfast to get going with her day.  instead of just eating something quickly, she went and made crepes from scratch, for herself. she made fresh raspberry/chocolate crepes. they were really good. she is definitely a person who just dives into projects. she decides to do something and just does them. i am amazed at how she has evolved into the person she is.

school crisis 2

jj said that the girls were talking in the hallway and they didn’t think they were being too loud (though, i have to say, the girls get very loud without realizing it).  an adult came out of the office and yelled at them – “i am sick of you lot. get out of here before i put a warning on your records”. jj was shocked that he was so furious with them. they were unaware and would’ve been quieter or left if they had known. anyway, just at that moment another boy in the adaptation program was coming down the stairs. jj said that he was smiling because he always smiles and plus, it was his birthday.
he wasn’t reacting to the girls' situation. the adult saw him smiling and said “you think it’s funny, come here right now “ and the boy got an official warning on his record. jj was very upset at the injustice of it.

double booked

i had invited this new author friend to go to the talk through the alumnae association of my college, but had forgotten that the family had also bought tickets to a rock concert. jj heard that this american band was playing in paris and we had agreed to take her and a friend. the talk was at 7:00 and the concert was at 8:00, but we figured that with the warm up band and the way they draw out concerts, the main act probably wouldn’t go on until 10:00.

so i went to the talk first, waiting for p’s texts telling me the status of the concert.
the talk was at someone’s house in a lively neighborhood– the area around the corner of boulevard montparnasse and boulevard raspail. it is one of my favorite areas. some old time big brasseries are there – le coupole and le dome. we got there early so we went to have a drink at “le dome” which is famous for its (pricey) seafood menu. our waiter looked just like robin williams dressed up as a serious waiter. for a moment i thought i was in a surreal real-life comic movie and i almost burst out laughing. i couldn’t help smiling every time we interacted with him. we had a nice aperitif and chat and then went to the talk.

the talk was in an alumnae’s apartment which was loft-like with a double height wall of windows and a mezzanine with ancient exposed beams. the journalist had wonderful stories of how she started out in the business and her views on its current state. she actually specialized in following the media and said that even she had trouble keeping up with all the amazing changes. we were an hour into the talk, when i got the text and a call from p saying that the warm up band had just finished. since the concert was across town, i had to go right away to make it on time. i was very sorry to leave.

however, the concert was quite amazing. i haven’t been to a rock concert in a lonnnng time. i haven’t wanted to go to a rock concert, but this band had a hit song that i knew and liked and jj was hot to go. i thought it might be fun, especially because it was in an old concert hall which is more like a club and NOT a stadium. the band was “train” who has the hit “hey, soul sister” and the venue was “bataclan” inside paris. bataclan dates from the 1860’s but was rebuilt in the 1950’s. it is a small venue that can hold around 1300 people. i arrived a few minutes after they started playing. the lead singer, patrick monahan was a real performer. he didn’t just stand there and sing. he moved and interacted with the audience. jj was most impressed with him when he asked if he could sing a song without the mike. he has a very good voice and it was very personal to hear him sing that way. the venue is really small, the center floor was for standing, and it was not totally packed, so one could get right up to the stage. he also did a tour through the audience while singing a soft song. it was amazing to be able to get so close to a fairly famous performer.

i did feel a little old there, but i wasn’t the only one. there were many middle aged people. funny, our generation, the rock and roll listeners are old now and seem out of place at a concert.  the lead singer seemed a bit older, himself. since i thought it was a new band, i thought he would be a kid. i hadn’t realized that they have been successful since their first album in 1998. i guess that would explain the slightly older people in the audience. i figured he’d be maybe, 28, maybe 35. turns out he is 41 so he’s practically old too! but he’s in very good shape.

i really enjoyed this concert in such an intimate setting and will keep an eye out now, for upcoming events at bataclan.

is it a dog? no, it’s a dog.

after the library talk, i came home and we all went down the street to jj’s favorite ice cream store, amorino. it is a chain of stores that shapes the ice cream in the cone to look like a flower. we had brought maynard and on our way home we encountered a lady whose dog began inspecting him. the conversation was in french.

she asked, “is it a dog?”
i was confused so i answered “it is a labrador”.
she asked again, “but is it a dog?”
at this point, my mind was scrambling. i didn’t understand the simplicity of her question. i didn’t know what to say. it wouldn’t be polite to say “no, it’s a rabbit. what do you think? of course, it’s a dog.”
but jj, who hit the inflection point at that moment when her french was better than mine said: “no, it’s a dog”. this seemed to satisfy the lady who said “oh, in that case we should go, because mine is a dog.”
as jj began explaining it, i realized what had happened.

since the french language has gender built into it, the question correctly translated would’ve been: “is it a female dog?” “c’est une chienne?”. jj figured this out and answered correctly: “no, it’s a male dog.” “no, c’est un chien.” i was very proud of her.

the lady pulled her male dog away because she was afraid they would fight. but maynard is a fixed dog and not prone to fight. i have been told that the french view neutering dogs as barbaric and inhumane, so their dogs are not fixed. perhaps this would explain why they are always pulling their dogs away from maynard, for fear of doggy conflict.

dogs & kids

of course, having dogs and/or kids helps to meet people. jj has already created a social life for us. we were hoping maynard would introduce us to many french dog owners. however, the area we live in, near the eiffel tower, for whatever reason, has a lot of americans. i have already met many american dogs and their owners.

it’s easy to make friends with expats here. they have the commonality of being a foreigner and having made the conscious effort to live in paris. “paris is a filter” for a certain kind of person. in addition, they don’t have the time demands of family and longtime friends that has filled the day to day life of locals. expats have more open slots for new people in their lives.

one lady i met at the champs de mars on the first day walking maynard, is a journalist and author who has written 13 books. her latest book explores the relationship to the peripheral people in your life and their impact on you. in fact, they do matter and can change your life. it is an interesting study. she doesn’t actually live in paris, but comes for extended periods to visit. she wanted to meet more english speakers here, since her french is not too good. she is a new yorker living in northampton, mass, home of my alma mater, so i told her about a college alumnae association meeting that i was going to, with a lecture given by a journalist who follows the media.

she told me she was giving a talk on her book, at the american library. the american library is private english language library. to borrow books, you have to buy a membership. it is nearby, on the other side of the champs du mars and eiffel tower. so, i took a velib bike and went to her talk, which was very enjoyable. when i left, it was around 9pm and a clear, crisp evening. i got another bike and was riding across the champs du mars past the eiffel tower which was sparkling with its hourly special light show. it was another conscious moment of “i’m in paris!”.

oysters & pink champagne

october is the time of year when oysters come to paris. just back from boston, i looked out the window and noticed that the brasserie across the street had oysters displayed. i got excited! p. went down and came back with a platter. oysters to go! all opened and arranged on a bed of ice in a styrofoam plate. we pulled out a bottle of pink champagne that had been left in our fridge by either the landlord or the previous tenants. this was a paris moment. it made me very happy.

maynard in paris

if you recall, maynard, the dog was not able to come to paris on our flight because the weather had been too hot that day (airline regulations). he had been living happily and comfortably with some friends in the boston countryside. in fact, he was having a great doggy life there, running in the woods, freely chasing squirrels and hanging out with his doggy buddy, jarvis, the yellow lab. the family said they would love him to stay with them, but we missed him and felt that he should join the rest of the family.

i was planning to go back in september but hurricane earl came through, and i rescheduled. there were plenty of volunteers who were willing to bring him to us, but in the end, i decided to go back and visit my mom and pick up some more luggage. i spent the 2 days in new hampshire with my family, then 3 days around boston. i had to do some official doggy things to allow him to come, including a trip to the vet and then a trip to the usda office to bring paperwork for them to stamp. the drive out took 45 minutes, they stamped to docs in about 5 minutes and then 45 minutes back. i didn’t really want to go back so soon, but when i got there, i was happy to see everyone.

anyway, it turned out to be a smooth trip and a smooth flight back. maynard did very well – he flew in his crate with the luggage. he is adapting well from country to city life, though a little nervous on our walks. it is much more noisy here! interestingly, it seems that people are a little hesitant with dogs here. they clearly move to the side to avoid him (maybe it’s that black dog thing) and people with dogs clearly pull their dogs away. some dogs seem to be more hostile. maynard is hesitant with the other dogs too. i wondered if there was a variation in doggy culture here. it could be that because the people are different culturally, that they have conditioned their dogs to be different too.

rose in paris

jj has a friend, rose, who moved to india with her family. jj and she are doing a joint blog, called “postcards from india and france”. rose was actually in france with her french class doing an exchange to a small village for a week. they were passing through paris on their way home and jj was hoping she would be able to go see her. the class was to be at the eiffel tower this evening and rose was going to call with more info. jj was waiting for the phone call. meanwhile, i wanted to go to a school meeting, but told jj that i would have my phone on vibrate, to be ready to come home and escort her wherever she might need to go. p was still in london. sadly, but understandably, it was not easy for rose to coordinate a meeting, but, in the end, she did call and jj and she had a long conversation.

london

we went over to london to attend a luncheon for p's parents' 50th anniversary. we got up early saturday, took the eurostar train and arrived in london in 2.5 hours. pretty amazing how quickly you can get there now. it just makes the difference between the 2 cultures so much more striking. up until the eurostar, the 2 cities were so far apart. the cities really feel so different.

we met up with p’s brother and family and then went to take a walk to buckingham palace and it’s park. it was a beautiful warm day. the park was crowded, but i rarely heard any english spoken! lots and lots of tourists.

the luncheon was held in the oxford and cambridge club, a "greek revival" building built in 1838. it was a lovely event, attended by 56 people. we started with champagne and mingling in a large living room. jj’s cousins and aunts and uncle were there. in addition, she got to meet p's 2 godfathers and various other people who had worked with p's parents (who had been diplomats) around the world . jj was thrilled to meet so many people who knew her dad as a child. afterwards, we went to the beautiful banquet room, with high ceilings, chandeliers and lots of rich details. we had a fresh mozzeralla/tomato salad, then lamb and potatoes, and finished with a wonderful poached pear in caramel sauce with mint leaf garnish. it was very delicious. p’s dad made a speech, as well as did p‘s 2 godfathers. it was very touching. it was easy to imagine these guys as young buddies in college.

afterwards, we walked around the area and then caught a train back to p’s parents home in the suburbs. jj and i returned to paris on sunday and p was to stay until wednesday. the nice thing about being here for this year is that jj will be able to see p’s side of the family much more. jj will see her grandparents at least 3 times in these first 4 months.

maynard portrait

"maynard at the door"

acrylic on canvas

18" x 22"; 46cm x 56cm

crisis, resolved

crisis, day 2
according to jj, the day proceeded as follows: the kids were gathered and the principal spoke to them, again scolding them for their behavior. she then got upset that one of the girls in the class “grinned rudely” at her. later, the head of the program told them that the person who whistled yesterday and the girl who grinned rudely, should give themselves up – and apologize. then all would be forgiven but if they did not step forward, the head of the program would show all the id pictures of the students to the principal and she would identify the guilty parties. they would then get a “red mark” in their book and 2 red marks would mean suspension from the school. (though this was what jj understood of the conversation - according to the school handbook, a student could get a “mise en garde” (a warning) and 2 “mise en garde” (sounds like fencing!) would become an “avertissement” (official warning) and 3 avertissements would lead to a suspension.) anyway, jj’s group of friends, most of whom are well behaved, never-been-in-trouble types, were thrown into confusion. they didn’t know if perhaps one of them had made a reflex grimace of fear that might have been misconstrued as a “rude grin”. they discussed this among themselves and then went to the head of the program to ask her advice. she said that they should go apologize to the principal. so they decided to go as a group – which i thought was brilliant.

meanwhile, one of the moms had called me up to ask what i thought of this crisis. her husband was out of town and she had no one to discuss this with. i told her i thought it was mostly a cultural thing, but recommended that we go ask an experienced “adaptation” mom. there is a cafe across the street from the school which is the official hang-out for the school. every morning there are many moms and a few dads having coffee there. they even have an official session for the first 3 weeks of school, where they have an experienced mom sitting there to receive questions any new parent might have – relating to anything about school or living in paris. so we went and there was an italian mom whom i had already met, who is very accomplished and very kind. she had some wise information and advice. she said: yes, the school culture is very different in france. france is very strict, america is very relaxed and italy is somewhere between. she has 2 sons in the school and in the last 2 years there have been 5 similar crisis for them. for the teachers, it is important to punish an infraction – regardless of whether the punished child is the guilty child. an example – someone in her son’s class dropped a book loudly on the floor while the teacher had her back to them, writing on the board. she wheeled around and pointed at the son (an innocent party) and said “you, out.” they don’t want a discussion about it. they don’t care who did it, just that someone is punished. at first this sounds so unfair, but consider that a discussion would include excuses, whining, back and forth and time wasted, whereas a quick punishment inflicted makes the point. plus, the actual guilty party would feel remorse for someone else getting punished. then the event is done and the crime forgotten. there are no long held grudges against the child. as a parent, don’t get involved. don’t call the teacher and ask for a meeting to explain your child’s innocence. they will just look at you blankly and say, “what do you want to discuss?”. the event happened long ago for them and is a non-issue. she also said that, for now, the kids are learning the culture, but in 6 months they will know it. heed their advice in regards to your interaction with the school. when they say “no, mom, don’t call...”, listen to them. her american doctor has said that in america, they find something good in each child, to praise them, whereas in france they find something bad in each child to scold them. the mom also told me that the principal has a particular problem with the teenage girls who dress too provocatively. i guess i have to agree with her on that one.

in the school there are some old fashioned french teachers and some progressive american teachers. they each have their own style. the french teachers expect the kids to stand up when they enter the room. jj’s american science teacher talks to the kids more casually. jj certainly felt more comfortable in this class, though she noticed that the french kids didn’t know how to react to the informality, and were a bit unruly. anyway, the principal is on the top of the heap and expects the most respect. when she entered the hall and the kids didn’t jump to their feet, (they didn’t even know who she was) that, in itself was probably considered rude. then when she complained to the head of the program, well, that is the boss complaining, and of course, there had to be an action.

crisis, day 3
a group of the girls went to apologize to the principal who was charming and smiling and said, “oh how sweet of you, that is very nice, no, no, it was none of you.” crisis gone, at least for now.

classroom crisis

this is the 2nd week of school for jj (and 3rd of the school year) and we have already had a crisis in the classroom. we got an email from the head of the adaptation program last night of a grave interaction that transpired at school. apparently, the 8th grade science class had “chatting, inattention and lack of focus” and THEN another event. the mixed 8th/9th grade “global issues” class were sitting on the floor of the hall, waiting for their classroom to open. the principal of the school happened to be walking by and had to remind them that this was rude and unacceptable and created a disturbance (understandable since the halls are narrow). apparently she heard someone whistle (jj did not hear this), freaked out and threatened them with suspension. so the conversation in the house has been about the event, but more about the reactions. jj says she really didn’t think it was very bad behavior. since we were not there, we cannot sense the atmosphere at the time which could have been very much more serious than what is conveyed in the email. however, it seems to be a bit of an overreaction. jj says she thinks the principal hates them... perhaps a teenager’s sensitivity, but i’m sure she senses something. we were told that the adaptation class is of core importance to the school, which has as its mission “to develop international understanding through bilingual education”. there is great pride in the students who arrive knowing absolutely no french, who become quickly fluent and go into the mainstream school after one year of adaptation classes. i wonder if it is a pygmalian pride. ‘we took these barbarians and molded them quickly into civilized beings’. so perhaps the principal looks at them at this stage of their french experience as rude, raw material. i wonder if this is a misunderstanding, that the “whistling” was an oblivious american’s expression of “whoa!” and not “hey, babe” or whatever else might have been interpreted. we are just trying to understand. we know that the french school system is more strict and rigid. some of the older american students who acted as our guides told us that they thought the teachers of the younger kids were much more strict than the teachers of higher grades. she figured that they had to get them all well behaved early and then the older kids didn’t need as much obvious discipline or reminders of the authority of the elders. the french school culture seems to involve a lot of yelling and harsh discipline. p had a theory that, as with badly behaved kids everywhere, the more you yell at them, the less effective it is. they develop a thicker skin. this would explain why someone could park blocking a small one way street and be unmoved by the honking from others. it is a constant sound of the city, long term honking. (i was at the open air market the other day and heard extreme honking followed by long tirades of yelling. even the vegetable vendor rolled her eyes and made some remark.) they know the rules and where the line is, that should not be crossed. every year, in protest of some new proposed rule, small business owners will riot and burn cars, which seems to go unpunished – just part of the tradition. whereas, our landlord knew that no one would cash the deposit check he lost, because they would go to prison for that. anyway, it seems that this classroom crisis is much ado about nothing, but that might just be a reflection of this badly behaved american. perhaps the french could point to the incredibly disrespectful and out-of-control american classrooms, though, there seem to be plenty of those in france as well. this is a highly respected school and of course, they expect the highest quality students. i guess, our foreign kids just need to learn the rules.

minor frustrations

in addition, to hanging out in cafes and shopping in the open air marches, there are other things that make up french life. they are not all wonderful, but i try to appreciate them as part of the experience. this helps me get through some of the more frustrating aspects of life here, without expending too much negative energy. they are just more material for the blog.

firstly, i'll just mention briefly that i went to the bank to change my address and there was one person in front of me and it was 30 minutes before i got to the window. i relished the pain. the good news was that i was able to accomplish my task. p and i have a joint account in another bank, and after several meetings, we have not been able to change that address because i do not yet have the official "identity card".

this official identity card, called the "carte de sejour" will allow me to be an official person in france. i will be able to work and do other official things in france, (like change our address on our bank account). i am entitled to this card because i am the spouse of a european citizen.  however, getting the carte de sejour is going to be an epic adventure. i know i will not be the first nor the last to tell a long tale about this quest, but i will tell it all the same.  please skip this entry if it gets too boring.

attempt 1: in september, i made my first attempt. i got dressed up, so as to look respectable and not like one of the perceived "teaming masses". i arrived at the office at 1:15, but there was a sign on the door that the office had a special closing that day between 1 and 2:00. (everywhere i go there are "special closings" during normal office hours for whatever reason). i waited till the office reopened and was successful in meeting with an agent who told me that our lease, would not work as a required "lease" to prove that i had a residence. perhaps because it was not the normal 3 year lease. i needed to have an electricity bill in my name. the electricity is in our landlord's name. so she said that his bill might work but we would have to get a copy of HIS identity card. i knew i would need some of p's pay stubs to prove he had a job, and a bank statement to prove we had some backup resources to live on. however, since his job is not in france, those pay stubs won't work and i need a statement from a FRENCH bank. i had proof of health insurance.

attempt 2: a month had passed, i collected various things and thought i'd try again. on friday, i dressed up. i arrived at the office to find a line at the front door on the street. this was expected and i had brought a book. i got in line. it seemed to be moving very slowly. after 1/2 hour, we were told that the computers were down and they didn't know how long it would be. after another 15 minutes, we were told that they were still down and perhaps we should come back monday, so i left. i hadn't even gotten in the front door.

attempt 3: monday i wanted to get to the office before it opened. i did not make that, but did get there early in the day. i waited outside in line for xx mins. i got in and took a number in the office and got to the desk after another xx minutes. to be fair, the lady was very courteous asked me various questions and typed a lot of stuff onto the computer. she said i needed a better proof or residence and told me to get apartment insurance in our name. i also have to go to the town hall with my marriage certificate (luckily it is a french marriage certificate, as p and i were married in paris 15 years ago) and get it authenticated – to have a current status of marriage. might need to bring p as proof. then she gave me an appointment with the big office – prefecture du police on the ile de la cite, in the center of town. this was progress! the appointment is for end of november.

to be continued...

heritage day

today was one of the “journees du patrimoine” which takes place throughout europe. it could be translated as “heritage day”. here is a description of the day from england:

“[it] celebrates [the country’s] fantastic architecture and culture by offering free access to properties that are usually closed to the public or normally charge for admission. every year ... in september, buildings of every age, style and function throw open their doors, ranging from castles to factories, town halls to tithe barns, parish churches to buddhist temples. it is a once-a-year chance to discover hidden architectural treasures and enjoy a wide range of tours, events and activities which bring to life local history and culture.”

we took velib bikes over to the city hall of paris, the “hotel de ville”, to visit. it was another harrowing bike ride for jj. i thought certain roads were to be closed, but they weren’t. anyway, we survived, but in the future we will only pick up the bikes when we are ON the closed roads. the hotel de ville, normally closed to the public, was re-built in the late 1800’s and so was decorated by the artists of that time. don’t know exactly what style they fall under, but the paintings are beautiful and dramatic – sort of pre-raphaelite like style. we walked through the rooms and halls on a guided path and came to a big ballroom which was filled with displays hosted by the maintenance workers of the hotel de ville (who also maintained other period buildings). there were clock makers with display clocks and their innards, flower decorators with exhibits of their work (really beautiful arrangements), historic plumbing specialists, antique hardware (like doorknobs) specialists and locksmiths. there were even the people who maintain the wood floors with their buffing and polishing machines and cleaning people with their mops and buckets displayed!

elevator rescue

it was a lazy day. we got up late and hung out. jj decided she wanted to make crepes so she searched the internet for a recipe and made them! they were really good. we were very impressed. afterwards, p and i went to a nearby street antiques fair and then it was evening.


jj had a birthday party to go to near the “etoile” and the arch de triomphe.
it was her twin’s party. we all walked across town to drop her at the metro stop where she was meeting the others. as we approached the metro stop, the 3 korean girls from jj's class emerged from below. jj at this point “shooed” us away. we left without having any other info, not the parents’ address or phone number, not the restaurant they were going to, nor a time that it would end. we assumed it would be fine, but as we walked i got more and more stressed at how we had not properly prepared. since we were going off to another part of town, they might be finished much earlier than us. p told me to lighten up, that it would all be fine. we went to the opera neighborhood. first we had drink in a pub. very enjoyable. it was part of a hotel and they had paintings on the wall of classical renaissance portraits, but with current political leader faces, bush, putin, etc. similar to my “p. van gogh” idea. afterwards we went to eat in the japanese area, full of sushi restaurants. interestingly, sushi is the cheap meal now, possible to eat for about 10-15 euros – so lots of students and other youth filled the streets.
then we headed back to meet jj. great timing, we got a call that she was coming down and would meet us at metro stop. then she called to tell us she was stuck in the elevator. 15 minutes went by and another call came, a bit more panicky. we got the address to the apartment and went over. 5 fourteen year old asian girls jammed into a little glass elevator stuck between floors. jj was nervous that it might fall. i could talk to her through the glass and assured her that there was technology to prevent that. they had tried the emergency button - which only rang a bell in the deserted lobby downstairs. not very helpful. then they tried the phone button which called the elevator company and got a recorded message in french, saying something like: " thank you for your patience, your call is important to us, an operator will be with you shortly" which continued to play for 15 mins. the birthday girl's mom was also on the phone trying to get through to the elevator company. but it was saturday night. p called the "pompier" - the firemen. (confusingly, there is not one emergency number like 911 – there are 3. one for fire, one for life threatening emergencies, one for less threatening emergencies – you have to know which number to call). anyway, very promptly, 3-4 young, handsome, clean-cut french firemen arrived. one opened the outer elevator doors. the others went below and determined that the “parachute” (i assume that means the “brake”) had been triggered which had stopped the elevator. (later i got the full story – one of the girls, to be funny had jumped in the elevator. i HATE when people do that. anyway, that was probably what caused this.) the elevator was between floors, and the brake would prevent it from going down much. however, to pull passengers out of a stuck elevator, you need to have a good amount of space just in case it does slip down a bit (remember this for future reference). so the firemen actually pulled the elevator up by the cable, high enough to enable the girls to climb out (quickly and one at a time). jj was a bit freaked out about the whole thing. the other girls hugged her and we all went home. (this just gives jj one more thing to be afraid of. she's also afraid of flying because, at the end of the last school year, the kids had some extra time and - i don’t know WHY they did this, but - they played an episode of “LOST” with the scene of the plane crash.)

violin teacher

another big task for me was to find a new violin teacher for jj. the mommy network was very helpful. i spoke with an american mom who explained the french music education system to me.
there were 3 ways to go:
1) public conservatories – another wonderful thing provided by the city government. each arrondissement has a music conservatory. kids can get very reasonably priced music lessons subsidized by the city. down side – it is in keeping with the rigid, old fashioned educational system. teachers yell at the kids and tell them all the things they are doing wrong. they are not gentle.
2) private conservatories – higher standard music education, more expensive and also old fashioned french style teachers.
3) private teachers who teach in their homes or yours.
another mom told me that the conservatories were already filled for the year. i had been surfing the web looking for teachers and there were a couple of sites which were specifically advertising music teachers. i didn’t know how to choose without a recommendation. one teacher, though, stood out. she had a website advertising her contemporary music trio (http://www.zodiactrio.com/) made up of a japanese pianist, a russian clarinetist and her, playing violin. she is french, but was partially educated in the u.s. i gave her a call, and wanted to sit in on a lesson – which is how i’ve looked for teachers in the past. this was not possible since she taught in her students’ homes, but she offered to just give a lesson to start. so we tried her out and both j and i liked her. she speaks english well, but i took the advice of one of the moms who said that having a private music teacher was an opportunity to work on language. so the lessons will be in french. it was an intense hour with not a moment of rest. the teacher asks jj to evaluate herself after playing, so she can get in the habit of listening more critically. the teacher’s style is a bit french, but since she has studied in the u.s., i think her approach will be slightly more tempered, which is perfect. her playing is very dynamic and she tries to push jj that way too. the nice thing is that she comes to our home, and there is no commitment, we just schedule a few weeks at a time. when she travels with her trio, there will be no lesson, but more work to cover the missed weeks. so far, so good. we’ll try it for a while and see how it goes.

swordfish with pesto

wednesday and sunday is market day in our neighborhood.  sunday market is very crowded so i have gotten into the routine that wednesday is fish from the market day. 

swordfish with pesto – really simple.
swordfish steak (preferably ¾-1” thick) - put olive oil, salt & pepper on both sides.
grill or put 1” under broiler at highest heat – 4-6 mins/side.
put pesto on top and serve.
you can use pre-made pesto, your own recipe or following simple recipe from jamie oliver:
http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/vegetarian-recipes/basic-pesto

delicious!!! thank you, janet in cambridge for serving this to us last year.

was enjoying dinner so much i forgot to go to school for the curriculum meeting. oh, well.

back to school

hallelujah!  jj had her first day of school.  she carefully picked out her outfit to not be too informal, yet not too showy.  she wore her new blue striped french sailer shirt and jeans.  i walked her to the bookshop to help her buy a required book, but then she wanted to walk the rest of the way to school on her own.  she does not need to arrive until her first class which starts on mondays at 9:15.  the lower grades all start at 8:30, so when she got there, the front door was closed and she wasn't quite sure how she was supposed to enter.  luckily her "double" appeared down the street who showed her to ring the doorbell, and she would be buzzed in.  as i mentioned before, her double is the other half asian violin playing girl from boston.  and guess what she was wearing?  yep, a blue striped french sailer shirt and jeans!   so, it didn't take long before they were being referred to as "the twins".  it was predictable.  anyway, jj had a good day.  she joined up with her new friends and their new gang, who were mostly other "adaptation" girls (non fluent in french, recently arrived from foreign lands).  she went through the day, learning the ropes of where to go, which hallways were one-way and how to get lunch.  she said most of the day was in english.  the directrice of the adaptation program has encouraged them to speak as much french as they could, knowing that it was actually too easy to speak english.

when jj is home, i spend a lot of time hovering over her trying to keep her from spending the whole day in front of the computer or trying to get her out to do an activity.  we have been spending a lot of good family time together, for the last 2 months.  right now p is away in amsterdam at a conference and jj has finally gone back to school.  i hadn't realized how i had been missing my solo time.  i came back to the apt and got right to painting.  i was very happy. it was easy to get to work.  i have been spending a lot of time on the maynard, the dog, portrait.  lots of details.  i am keeping a record of how long it is taking me.  as with any human portrait, there are many subtleties to get right to get a likeness.  anyway, i will post an image soon.

recovered

jj is better finally. phew. 6 days of fever and/or tummy problems. she ate a whole plate of home made fried rice last night at 9pm. that's when i knew she was better.

another sound of paris - real church bells ringing the hour. makes me happy.

was shopping yesterday and laughed when i realized that the delicious canapes that were served at the school function were from a frozen food shop. of course, that made sense for a school function. just because it's frozen doesn't mean it's bad. just like some of the delicious "trader joe's" foods.

working hard trying to finish new painting. hope to post it in 2 days.

missing first week of school

p left this morning early for amsterdam for a conference. there is a subway strike (tis the season for french strikes), but he got to the train station ok.

poor jj has been sick for 4 days now. tummy problems and intense pain, fever and headaches. she's so sad that she's missing the first week of school. luckily, we had a dr appt set up for today for her school medical forms. she was well enough to make the trip. i was nervous about how i'd get her there, but i successfully called a taxi. it seems trivial, but just didn't know what the procedure was or what was the correct number to call. i used google maps to get some phone numbers. i just had to do it once, to be comfortable with the idea. anyway, the doc said it is just a bug that we needed to let play its course. even though it is still terrible, it helps to know that its not serious. i also am able to talk to my sister, the dr, for more advice. (skype and google phone are amazing!)

this will be fun!

when i was living in paris before, i was working freelance for various companies. my jobs would typically last from 3-8 weeks. during every job i had, there was always a reason for the champagne to come out – whether it be a birthday, an anniversary of the company, whatever excuse. i loved it.

tonight there was a school meeting for all the new parents, hosted by the parent association which started with champagne. we’ve been with the school for a week and a half and i have to say: “what took them so long!”

the meeting was to present all the activities organized by the parents FOR the parents. i have to say that they have really done everything right. this school is made up of an interesting group of people who are predominantly international – whether foreigners living here or french returning from abroad. they all appreciate that time in paris is special. they have organized the parent activities which creates a wonderful and very social community facilitating meeting others and taking advantage of the city and region. they also help newcomers adjust and maneuver the setup process. there are multiple conversation groups for people to practice their french and english (45 mins of each), garden tours, tours with historians or people knowledgeable of whatever specialty, hikes outside of paris, WINE TASTING, WINE trip to Bordeaux, COOKING classes, pot lucks, visits and demonstrations at specialty shops (like the most favorite MACAROON bakery). with every “club” or event that was presented, i just kept thinking “oh my god, this is going to be soooo much fun!”. every parent in the group was smiling broadly. then, the website is very well done and a fabulous resource. along with all the other types of school information, there are places to get help, ask questions, get advice. my favorite is a page called: “carnet d’addresses” which is written by individual parents listing their favorite places to go or eat in paris, or things to do with kids, etc.

after the meeting, we retired to another room for wine and “canapes”. i have to admit, these were the best finger food at any school event i have ever attended. but i’m sure there will be even better ones this year! i am thrilled and we are so lucky.

sick/malade

tomorrow is the first day of school. unfortunately, today jj is sick. she woke up with a temperature of 102. looks like she’ll be missing the first day.

mirama

we had chinese food in my favorite "mirama" in the latin quarter (17 rue st jacques,75005.). authentic chinese restaurant with ducks hanging in the steamy window. am a big fan of the shrimp wonton soup with noodles. i found this restaurant when i moved to paris in '92 and had an apt nearby. when i first tasted the food i said that there was no reason to go home to new york anymore. everytime we come to paris, we go to mirama. the same waiters are there, only they look younger every year. must be the msg.
afterwards, we walked around the latin quarter which is now a crowded, touristy area with greek restaurants (should be called the "greek quarter").  visited "shakespeare and co", english bookstore with a history.  cool place to hang out and write.  will make a point of going back. we walked home, across town and the streets became more deserted. across the street, a drunk man was peeing facing the street. we blocked jj's view, but she was fully aware what was going on. the sound of water running... ahhh, city life.

independance

jj and her double (the other violin playing girl from boston, with asian mom) met today to hang out. the double was coming on her own from the 16th via metro and they would rendezvous at the school at 2:30. as j was leaving, she asked, what time should i be back? i said, “i don’t know, how about 10:00”? she laughed. then i said, “how about 7:00?”
the 2 girls went to get ice cream down the street and then walked around the neighborhood, doing a little shopping.

what we find amazing is how quickly everything has changed. suddenly jj is heading out of the house to go wandering around freely on her own. i remember last year when some of the parents at the school in cambridge were discussing whether they would let their kids go to harvard square on their own and here we are a year later, and she’s free to wander in paris. well, not all of paris yet, but i’m sure soon enough, paris will be her playground.

i had gone out and when i came back, p told me they might be going to a movie. “really? a movie? on their own?” i was a bit taken aback. i imagined them getting on the metro and heading to the center of town, but it turns out there is a little cinema in the neighborhood. it made me realize that we hadn’t discussed parameters. so later, i told her that she should text me if she ever decides to go further afield that our little “quartier”. and she replied “i’ll try to remember”. (meaning she’s so comfortable wandering further that she wouldn’t even think about it?)

she and her friend decided to go to the grocery store to buy a big bottle of nutella, and i told her to pick up some porc at the butchers for dinner. it was a good challenge. i told her to ask for some slices of “porc roti” which i thought was how you said roast pork (because roast chicken is “poulet roti”). the butcher didn’t understand. she said it again “porc roti”. he was confused. then another lady asked “roti de porc?” oh! THAT’s what you want. hard to figure that one out! then he asked something that sounded like “croo-oo-cui” - which stumped her. she didn’t understand. “croo-oo-cui” he asked again. she said she didn’t know. then he showed her a raw one (cru) and a cooked one (cuit) – (“cru ou cuit”). oh! – she guessed that i wanted it cooked. anyway, it was an achievement and great that she had her friend there for support.

lots of orientation

we had 2 orientation meetings of 2 hours each, this week. for the first one, the kids were told to bring a notebook and pen and the parents were told to bring a checkbook! we wrote checks for all kinds of things – cafeteria, book deposit, locker deposit etc. they went over the basic way the school worked (rules on how to enter and exit, what to always carry with you and what never to forget).

the second meeting went over the very complicated schedule – 2 different week schedules A and B and actual day to day class schedule. quite overwhelming. we had another tour of the campus led by a group of seniors called “peer leaders”. they were amazingly confident and well spoken, an impressive example of what these children can become. i learned that the teachers were very strict with the younger kids so that they would all be well behaved when they were older. they also talked about fountain pens. they said some of the teachers were very strict about it – you had to use a fountain pen or your homework would be ripped up. what? this was the first i heard about this. a fountain pen? what do you mean? you don’t mean those ancient pens with the tips you dip into ink – with the big feather? well sort of. the teachers are very adamant that the children use fountain pens – the ones with a real tip – like for calligraphy, with ink cartridges and insist that the writing is better. it forces one to be very neat – because the ink will smudge otherwise. pencils are outlawed. this may be a problem for jj who is left handed.

getting outside

i am in a transition stage, of course. moving to paris is a big change. i feel that i had gotten a bit suburban and i see that now as i hang out in the apt. in belmont, i would hang out in the house. all of paris is at my feet, and we are in the apt. i know these are the last few days of summer vacation for j, and she is happy just hanging out, inside. strange, but it is an effort to go out. so i have made that effort.

yesterday, i lured her out to go to a fun “shopping” area – around the odeon. we took the metro, and then we wandered around, exploring little windy, ancient streets. this is one of the things i love most about paris - just walking around and looking at things. she enjoyed it. we made our way home. (p has been working diligently in his makeshift office in the bedroom.)

today, we went to the “orangerie museum” at the base of the tuileries guardens – which used to be the green house for the gardens. we went to see monet’s water lilies that are resident there. they are always beautiful. jj loved seeing them too. they are amazing for several reasons. firstly, monet’s eyesight was deteriorating from cataracts when he was painting them. up close they seem very abstract, with lots of big brushstrokes in various vibrant colors, seemingly random. as you step back you see a beautiful rendition of water lilies in a pond with reflections of trees and sky and clouds. often the reflections are painted in vertical strokes and the lilies in horizontals – so the brushstroke directions differentiate them. it is very clear that the lilies are sitting on top of the water. he did 250-300 canvases of lilies. in the past i had gotten overexposed to monet and thought i didn’t care about his stuff anymore. then i went to see the water lilies, and was blown away. now every time i see them, i am amazed at how beautiful they are. good job, claude. (there’s another group of them at the musee marmottan in the 16th arrondissement)

blocking traffic

there is a different attitude here. a driver will leave his/her car in the middle of a small road, even though there are parking spaces, because they feel that they will only be a few minutes delivering something or other, and it would be easier to just leave the car there. any car coming down the street from behind, just has to wait. either that or do a very french maneuver which is to back out of the road. the sound of paris to me is the sound of a car accelerating in reverse. you know the sound – when the engine tone just rises and rises? even the parisians curse at the selfishness of the parisian drivers.

our apt is above a small shopping street. it is a narrow one lane, one way. there are often bouts of honking. typically, some delivery truck has ignored the special delivery parking spots lining the street and instead chosen to stop directly in front of its shop blocking all traffic from passing. i am surprised, actually, at the patience sometimes shown by the other drivers who quietly wait. i guess there’s an allowance of 2-3 minutes. this morning, at morning rush hour the honking seemed to be going longer than usual. after about 10 minutes of honking, i poked my head out the window to see what was going on. a truck had decided to park in the INTERSECTION of 2 streets, blocking all traffic from BOTH. there was a delivery space available a very short distance in front, but that didn’t matter. i called jj and p to come watch. it was a big delivery to a clothing store on the corner, so it was a long wait while they unloaded. more and more cars came down the street and lined up and we could see cars on the other street too. the honking continued for 20 minutes, but the truck driver ignored it. unfortunately for him, there was a police car in line waiting, who finally came out and gave him a ticket. he kept unloading anyway. i guess he figured he already had his ticket. jj was laughing hysterically at the selfishness. she couldn’t believe it. she was also thrilled at watching the cars reversing back up the street. she’d watch, waiting for the next car to start reversing, and then laugh, saying “there goes another one”. now, everytime there is honking, she runs to the window to watch.

french language

p is quite fluent, but my command of french is not great. trying to set up all the personal infrastructures for everyday life in a relatively unfamiliar system involves enough contact with bureaucracy and quick speaking natives that is quite challenging for me. but i guess stressing the brain is a good form of exercise. i have already gone to the office to try to get my official residency card, the “carte de sejour”, which will also allow me to work. i brought triplicates of everything i thought they might need, but did not expect to succeed, which was good, because, i didn’t. to prove residency, i brought our lease, but i need a utility bill as well and probably a copy of the landlord’s identity card. we have requested this. this process will not be easy.

j says she is understanding a lot of what is said. she had been in a french school between the ages of 3-6 and has taken french for the last 2 years. we know it will come quickly to her, but it is still very exciting to see her improving. she is still shy in speaking. i try to put her in situations where she will be forced to speak.

in these last days of summer, she has been watching tv. of course, the excuse is to help her french. she has been watching cooking shows – and picked up a bit of the lingo. she complained about the chef who said repeatedly: “et c’est parti!” when he got something going. “and, it’s on its way”. but now she knows that expression.

she has also been tickled to watch the vapid disney teen sitcoms, in french. it sounds as vapid in french as it does in english. it’s not too hard to figure out what they are saying.