guilt

i was aware, when we moved to paris, that she was already on the decline and felt badly about moving so far away. i told her once that i felt guilty about leaving her. she had always been supportive of us. she said something to the effect of “you have to live your own life. you shouldn’t stay around because of me.” i always appreciated that she was not the sort of mom to pressure or guilt us to do anything (like get married or have kids). she stayed clear of those things. her job was to make us independent and she did it well. we 5 children have scattered to the winds and are very independent of her. we had a healthy happy childhood. there are so many times i’ve heard of the problems in the childhoods of friends and colleagues, that i appreciate all the more the things i took for granted. not all parents love their children. not all parents do the best things for their kids. she gave us her life. we knew that we were the most important things to her.

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