tiger mother

i went to my second alliance francaise “oral workshop” french lesson. it was slightly better, but i still didn’t like it. i was able to switch it for next week to the “written workshop”.

p had sent me the article about the chinese mom, making waves right now in the u.s. i’m sure you’ve heard of this book “battle hymn of the tiger mother” and the wall st journal article “why chinese moms are superior”

i have to laugh at some of the things she says. i haven’t read the book, just the article, but it’s laughable that someone could make such firm statements with the confidence that they have the answers and theirs is the only way to successful parenting. each child is different and reacts differently to situations. i have heard of parents who have been convinced they are doing it the right way because their child is so perfect, until their second child is born and is an absolute terror. then they admit that perhaps it’s not just parenting that makes the difference. of course, i agree with some of what the tiger mom says about discipline and taking academics as a priority over sports and hobbies, just not to the extremes that she takes it. i loved reading some of the wonderful and wise responses. then, because the sleepover topic had been a recent topic of discussion, i HAD to read to jj the list of what the author’s daughters were never allowed to do 

“attend a sleepover, have a playdate, be in a school play, complain about not being in a school play, watch TV or play computer games, choose their own extracurricular activities, get any grade less than an A, not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama, play any instrument other than the piano or violin, not play the piano or violin.”

and the other best paragraph:

“All the same, even when Western parents think they're being strict, they usually don't come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments 30 minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It's hours two and three that get tough.”

(part of me thinks she is just saying some of these things to be so extreme that she causes a controversy which is good for book sales). anyway, jj’s response was “she’s crazy, she should tell her kids you can only go to sleepovers if you get straight A’s and practice an hour a day.” i looked at her and said, “SOOOO... , jj, speaking of which... ” pause. jj’s eyes opened very wide in horror at what she had just said. her mouth puckered to form a little O as she issued a quick “oooh” and then ran to her room and closed the door. i laughed very hard. i am one of the “failed” chinese moms.

to add to the chinese theme - the parent group organized a dim sum lunch in chinatown (in the 13th arrondissement).  it was in a restaurant called "la chine massena".  it was good, but not great dim sum.   but it was good to get into chinatown and look around again.  "tang freres" is a giant chinese market there too.  the lunch went on so long, i didn't have time to stay and tour it with the rest of the moms.

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